The Bachelor: Stefan Edition
by Vampire00Diaries
Summary: It's time for a new season, and Stefan somehow ends up being the Bachelor on the reality show. Who are the crazed women fighting and drooling over him? The girls of Vampire Diaries, of course! AU fic. Humor and Romance.


The high pitch ring of the phone echoing through the boarding house roused him from a nap.

"Stefan!"

He groaned at the sing-song tones in Damon's voice as he called his name from upstairs. "What!"

"Phone!" Damon yelled. "Answer it."

Stefan rolled his eyes, still feeling groggy as he got up and made his way into the kitchen. He could hear Damon set down whatever book he was reading upstairs, the house falling silent except for the annoying rings. Now just feeling determined to make the phone stop and go back to sleep, Stefan picked it up and answered, "Hello?"

A man who sounded extremely perky replied instantly. "Hello!" he said enthusiastically. "Is Stefan Salvatore home?"

Stefan furrowed his brows, not recognizing the man's voice. "This is he," he confirmed politely, his voice still heavy from sleep. "May I ask who's calling?"

"Ah, yes!" the man chimed. "My name is Chris Harrison. I'm the host of ABC's hit show, 'The Bachelor' and we just finished going through casting, and we've decided to make you our newest Bachelor! All of the producers absolutely loved your entry, photos, and video! We think that you have all of the qualities we'd like to see in the show. Not to mention all of the women we casted would go crazy over you! We'd just like to confirm with you that you'll meet with us on Friday to go over the details..."

Stefan's mouth dropped. Was this some kind of mistake? He looked at the caller ID, wondering if this was some sort of prank call. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong-"

"He'd love to!" Damon seemed to pick the perfect moment to walk down the stairs, that huge, signature smirk plastered on his face.

There was a short pause on Chris's side as Damon snatched the phone and pressed the speaker button. Furious, Stefan glared at him but Damon simply shrugged. Finally, Chris asked, "Who am I speaking to?"

Damon grinned, a devious, wicked smile. "I'm... I'm his agent. Pardon my client. He's just a little nervous about the whole thing." Stefan looked like he couldn't get any angrier, or confused, but Damon had to keep himself from laughing.

"Great, so I'll sign you in as the next Bachelor?" Chris questioned hopefully.

Stefan reached for the phone. "Actually-"

Damon interrupted again. "Absolutely! We'll see you Friday." He then took the phone off of speaker mode and pressed it to his ear. "Uh-huh, yes... He can be quite the diva sometimes but don't you worry, Chris. I'll settle him down for you. Mm-hmm... yup. Okay. B-bye now!"As soon as Damon hung up, Stefan gave him the biggest What-the-hell-do-you-think-you're-doing look of his life. "You're not my agent," he started.

Damon smirked proudly. "Yup."

He gritted his teeth together. "I never even signed up for The Bachelor."

"Yes, you did," Damon laughed, which earned him a confused look from Stefan. "I gave them a photo and put together a little video about how you're searching for love and I filled out a paper..." Stefan was still glaring; he did not want to be on a pointless television show that was meant for women who had nothing better to do than to watch girls rip each other's hair out. "Oh, come on, Stef. Live a little. You should be thanking me!"

"I won't sign the contract," he argued.

"Fine!" Damon put his hands up with a mock pout. "But in another hundred years when you're all broody and alone, you'll be wishing you listened to me."

* * *

><p>Damn Damon.<p>

Stefan was on the stony path waiting for the girls to arrive in the limo. Oh lord, why did he let Damon talk him into this?

There were four different cameras surrounding him and he stood right where the director told him to go. He didn't want to be here at all, but there was no going back now.

He had a new title. He was no longer Stefan Salvatore, the damaged vampire who had accomplished a bunch in his long life.

Oh, no, no... He was Stefan Salvatore, The _Bachelor_. And to the public, that was the biggest honor anyone could receive in life.

_What the hell has become of America_, he asked himself, shaking his head.  
>Oh lord, and now the limo was approaching down the road. All of the cameras went to zoom in on the long car, except for one which remained purely on Stefan's face. He faked an excited smile even though his insides were churning.<p>

Finally, the black limo came to a stop and the door swung open. Holding his breath, Stefan waited to see what he would be faced with for the next few months.

Finally, girl number one walked out: Elena Gilbert.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Lol, this idea has been spinning through my head FOREVER and I just had to write it. Don't take this too seriously, it's just for fun! I think that Stefan on the Bachelor would be hilarious! :) This fic is AU. None of the girls know Stefan and he doesn't know them. You don't need to watch the bachelor in order to understand this fanfiction, so don't worry if you don't watch it!<strong>_

_**Please let me know what you thought! Like it, love it, hate it? Should I keep going? Every comment inspires me and makes my day!**_

_**Thanks! :)**_


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